Showing People They Matter While They Are Living

I just learned a former co-worker I knew several years ago died.  Today is August 22, 2010, but I am just getting the sad news that she died in July. My response to the friend who gave me the update is I wish I had known. Inside me, my spirit is asking why do you wish you knew given when you knew her health had taken a turn there were calls you didn't make and visits that didn't occur. You were too busy.

I feel bad that she died, but I feel much worse because I didn't go see her when just last month I had said I need to go visit. It wouldn't have required a train or plane, just a ride to another city close to where she lives.

My list of I wishes covers I wish I had called, I wish I had visited, I wish I had known about her memorial, I wish, I wish, I wish...

Get over yourself, my spirit admonishes me to learn from this and recalls: "Remember a few years ago when you lost another friend and you found out when your sister called. She asked you  why you had not told her your friend Dot had died. You were stunned and shocked. You called her husband who shared he thought that someone else had told you. That someone said she didn't have the heart to give you the bad news but now wished she had."

I could not argue but how I wish I could turn back the hands of time. That day I went back to work and looked at emails she had sent asking me how I was and letting me know how much she  valued our friendship. Her last email to me was hey, are you alright? I keep sending emails, but I haven't heard from you. I want to know you are okay. I remembered reading the emails, telling myself I'll get back to her.

I wish, I wish I had not been too busy to check all my emails. I wish I had called. I wish I had heard her voice one last time. I wish someone had told me she had gotten sick.

I haven't seen the friend who shared the news in many years. My wish list grows longer, as I wish I had stayed in touch and still shared the friendship we once shared. I was too busy to be a friend.

Tonight I'm reflecting on my I wish list and reexamining friendship and family time that I have forfeited because I was too busy with work or something else. I have missed friend's children growing up because I got so caught up in the busyness of life.  My Goddaughter had just gone to college and I wish I had spent more time with her before she went away. Her mother is leaving town and how it grieves me because now I wish I had done more things with her.

This is not what living like it matters should be like. It should be about showing people they matter not sending a message that we are too busy.

Father's Void

Someone shared on my Facebook page that Father’s Day is bittersweet. It is for so many women who grew up without their fathers or grew up losing their fathers or the relationship with their own.


When I was 14, my parents divorced. It was one of the most traumatic events in my life. I thought my world fell apart, and I became a very angry teenager. My father was no longer present in my life. I didn’t have him there to ask why or help me understand. I turned my anger on my mother with nowhere else to point my anger toward or a way to let it go and get my healing. It took some years, along with the patience and the unconditional love of my mother, to help my broken heart heal. It didn’t help that my father was a television producer, and I would see his name on the credits for TV shows. He had no credit or credibility in my life.


My anger caused me to choose unhealthy relationships. When I had the potential for having one that was healthy, I tore down the relationship before it had a chance to stand and grow strong. I never talked about what had occurred in my life. I didn’t know how to share, and I didn’t always know that I should share with a guy, “here’s my struggle.” I had a void due to feeling that I had been rejected by my father. He had left without an explanation. He had left without a goodbye speech. He had left with lies that left me with feelings that psychologists would call abandonment.


Those feelings were my life’s painful backpack. They held on to me like the skin on my bones and damaged my heart. The longer I didn’t deal with the feelings the heavier the backpack and the more negative impact on my life. My mother was the who helped me unload with love. She gently unzippered my hurt and lifted off the scars that were covering my emotions and heart. She talked to me when I was ready. During my adult years, and through the help of God,  she alone became my father and my mother. I don’t remember when I started sending her cards on Father’s Day, but I don’t let a year go by without saying both Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Father’s Day.

Today is bittersweet, and I do now have my father back in my life, but not in the same way that many have had their father throughout their life. I have friends who are feeling their father’s void because he was loving and the father everyone should have, but he has left this world. Their void is due to missing what once was. Then there are the friends who never knew their fathers. Their void is similar to the one I once had because their father never participated in their life. Then there are the friends who grew up in Foster Care, who share the void of not knowing why their father couldn’t keep them. Many are blessed that their Adoptive or Foster Father gave them what they never knew biologically.

Yes, father’s day is bittersweet for many. I am thankful for a wonderful father-in-law, Willie Ferrell, who is like a father to me. We have many father daughter talks. I miss my spiritual Dad, Ernest Washington. I came across his obituary the other day, and I think about the void that was left in my life when he left this world. He took the empty out of some voids, though, by filling my life with great financial wisdom, career advice, and the kind of guidance about relationships that allowed me to be able to have sung to my loving husband and me at my rehearsal dinner “At Last.” My husband is a great father who lost his own son, yet he is helping to fill his own voids as we mentor foster kids and he teaches them about money.

Happy Father’s Day, and if it is bittersweet, learn how to still live and receive healthy love.

Some of the Best Times in Life Can be Free

Ladies are you looking for a way to get your money matters back on track while at the same time feeling like you can’t enjoy the good life?

Broke times don’t mean you have to have a broke life. Broke does not have to mean that we can’t have fun or have to deny our self some of life’s goodies. It may mean, however, tightening the wallet, freezing some of our assets and putting a hold on our spending.

I enjoy many of life’s privileges without having to pay my way to a joyful or fun-filled life. Some of the best things in life can be enjoyed without a price tag. You just have to be creative and do your homework.

My husband is a financial educator. One of his popular topics is how to bring fun to your life without reaching into your pocket. He says it starts right where you live, right in your neighborhood, and right in your community. When we dated, or during times when money wasn’t right, he schooled me on how to enjoy life without the big price tag.



Here are some of the things we enjoy  to make our life matter, and we didn't have to buy a thing:

1. Picnic in the park. Most parks don’t charge you entrance fees so why not head to one and enjoy a day of relaxing. Make lunch from what’s in your home and call some friends to join you with the challenge of “bring only what’s in your fridge.” If you don’t want to drive to the park, do what we do, lay a picnic blanket on you floor and create a “stay at home picnic.”

2. Music and concerts. Neighbors are building community by offering free concerts during the summer. We love these, and get our concert schedules right before they start and plan which ones to attend. Friends join us, too, which makes it nice; again, we don’t have to spend a dime.

3. Movie nights. It may take a little extra research on your part, but community centers and some of the touristy sites hold free outdoor movies.

4. Time with friends. Yesterday, I had the best time with a friend by spending time with her for the afternoon. We laughed, talked, and shared and it didn’t cost us a dime.

5. Museum visits. Many cities have great museums without the entry fees.

6. Bike riding and walking. Parks and probably close by are walking trails where you can go bike riding, running or walking.



Live,Sister,Live: Living Life Like It Matters (Cause it does)tm

Sunday with LiveSisterLive: Letting Go

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse

I don't know how your day, week or month has gone, but I have had my share of life's hard to let go moments.  This has been a heavy mentoring month that reminds me as women we can hold on to relationships that do our life more harm than good if not handled in a way that heals us.

What I Call the "Holding On & Hard to Let Go Month"

May is always an interesting month filled with things we hold on to, like the love of a mother and the loss of a mother. It's a month where women participate in  breast cancer awareness weeks, walks and runs, many of who are living with the loss of health. This is the month when college graduates hold on to the memories of their college years and letting go of school years.  For others, it's not the month, but another month of holding on to what once was, like a job, relationship or friendship.

How do you live life like it matters and let go?

I have had my share of letting go moments in my life and would have to agree with the author of the quote, it can make you stronger than the holding on.  

I don't agree that many people feel that holding on makes us feel stronger. It just makes us feel like not moving or doing anything.  Sometimes strength from an issue that we hold on to comes from matters of time and healing.  A woman who has lost her mother will hold on to the memory because her mother matters.  The college graduate holding on to what once may just be afraid of what's ahead, and may not realize that the future is now what matters.  In relationships that break, the feelings of people who matter to us are what keeps us holding on even if for now we have to let go of them.

5 ways to let go  in a way that matters.

1. Let go with faith and a prayer; turn what you are holding on to, over to God; trust that a broken relationship can heal even if it's only in your heart and not another's
2. Let go by grieving the loss you hold on to,  seeking help from wise advisors who can talk you through all you are feeling
3. Let go by telling yourself you cannot control what people do, how people treat you or even perceive you
4. Let go by finding strength in all the good that has come to you through another person having entered or left your life or this world
5. Let go and live like right now is what matters, not the pain of yesterday,but in the memories of what was good yesterday

Sometimes, you can make life matters a little bit better like listening to a great letting go song like this one from singer Dwayne Woods

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilaV1YYwZJ8&feature=related

Live Sister Live Living with tm...: Infidelity: Her Story, His and the Other Woman have their Say

"I watched a commercial about sheltered dogs. It said don't pity a sheltered dog. I don't think the Elin Woods, Saundra Bullock's or other women like me should be pitied, but we need a safe shelter to talk about our pain and work through the process."

This week, the LiveSisterLive team focuses our Sunday "Living with tm... segment on a story of a sister, her mate, and the other woman. They share their story at their request to help others but also we thank them and will protect their true identity.

The headlines are filled up with the celebrity side of marital cheating. Today, we want to tell one sister's story of how she dealt with the brokenness of infidelity and to hear from a sister who was the other woman. We hear from not only the other woman but the man who betrayed her.

Sister betrayed: When I found out my mate was with another woman, I had a meltdown and let him know how much I hated all he was and all he did to me. Not because I hadn't had a clue; in my gut I knew, but in my heart I tried to rationalize and argue with my brain. I didn't want anyone to know, so my marriage had public and private life. He also told me I was crazy. By the time I did share with someone, I was almost bitter beyond repair. I called her and texted her to stay away from my man.



Sister with a promise of he’s leaving: I thought I was the victor and had the sense of this poor guy and he's my soul mate. Nothing in my mind made me feel I too was the one who was losing. I didn’t recognize there are three sides to the story. I thought I was the prize, had captured the man and he was coming to me. When truth came out, I too was betrayed. I had been told only one side of the story. I had had my own issues too. I was mad when she called me and mad with him when she called me. In the end I had done wrong to me and to her.


The brother in the middle of a mess he feels he created: I had lied, but I was confused. I didn’t feel like a man I felt better with her (the other woman) than with my wife. When I wanted to do my thing, I picked an argument. I started looking at her when my wife and me stopped communicating and things seemed to be falling a part in other parts of my life. It started with a conversation. I got something that I wasn’t getting at home.  It was messed up and once in I lied to myself to stay in.


How the betrayed lived with infidelity and got her healing

As I said, I was the queen of bitterness and angry. I told everyone he was no good and tried to explain all that he had done for me. No one seemed to care; they noticed more of my emotional rage than my hurting hurt. I called her and told her to leave my man alone. Neither one of us confronted him. I brought my own life to a halt and didn't see all I was doing to me. I had a friend come to me to get some help and it was the best thing I could do for my life and well being.



10 Ways to Live Life like it Matters In the Midst of Betrayal from the LiveSisterLive Self-Care Coach
1. Don't shoot, don't kill, don't run him over with your car, feel inadequate or less than a woman. Also, don't hang the situation on you.

2. Express your anger, but in a constructive way and not hurtful to you.

3. Recognize if you had a role in the person being unfaithful. However, it’s also important to remember that you can't control anyone's behavior.

4. Protect your sanity and “guard your emotions”

5. Reminder yourself you are not responsible for the facts regardless of what you have been told

6. Talk to someone objective and non-judgmental (e.g. therapist or wise friend) and who you will not be afraid to give the facts too

7. Write down what you need to do to recover the relationship or move out of the relationship

8. Grieve the loss regardless of whether or not you stay or go

9. Take care of you by doing some new things in your life

10. Forgive yourself, forgive him and forgive her and move your life forward

 
 If you are living with infidelity, reach out to LiveSisterLive so a self-care coach can help you...

LiveSisterLive Living With..tm Segment : An MS Diagnosis is Not Keeping Her Down

In September 2009, after almost a year of, pokes, prods, evaluations, and tests, I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (MS) – an unpredictable autoimmune disease that attacks the nerve-insulating myelin in your central nervous system (brain, spine, and optic nerve). No one ever wants to hear such devastating news, but I feel uniquely blessed because my diagnosis came at an early stage of my disease and at a time when many treatment options are available.

How's She Living with this Matter?

My doctors are confident that with medication, exercise, proper nutrition, and taking care of myself I will continue to have a wonderful and quality-filled life.

Thanks to the pioneering efforts of people before me that have battled MS daily for years, scientific teams around the globe working on treatments and cures, and the Multiple Sclerosis Society, I have a fighting chance. Help me give back to those that are making a successful battle against MS a reality – support me and the Pam’s Peeps Team on April 11 in Arnold, Maryland as we participate in Walk MS 2010. There are four ways you can support us:




A. Come out to Arnold and walk the 5K with us on April 11

B. Participate as a virtual walker

C. Make a financial donation and help us reach and exceed our $500 team fundraising goal

D. Continue to pray for everyone with MS

E. ANY COMBINATION OF THE ABOVE



To learn more on how you can support our team, please visit:

https://secure3.convio.net/nmss/site/TRR/Walk/MDMWalkEvents/1366927849?pg=ptype&fr_id=13105



Many thanks for your continued support and prayers.

Living Life Like It Matters: Bearing One Another's Burdens

Galatians 6:2  Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.(NIV)


I love Sunday's, a good sermon and learning about how God wants us to live and about purpose. The message I heard today was all about how we can be used to help others:

Today I learned a friend has MS. I already have two others who also are walking through this. I know from the symptoms, at times it can  be life limiting. I thought about how many times we learn about something that someone has and we say I'm sorry. We may not take the time to find what the situation means to the sister going through.

How Can I Live Life  Like It Matters? I'm doing a lot of digging about the life the others live with MS. With that information I'm going to ask my friends what I can do. I'm going to let them know they don't have to lve through it alone. All three friends are full of joy, but life can be limiting. And where they have limits I can look for ways to step in.

Show up today for someone with MS. Don't be sorry, but be there.  Take a walk for her. You can search for a link below.

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/walkMapRegion.aspx

Let's Move for the Sister who may not be able to move like we can.

LiveSisterLive and bear someone's burden today!

LiveSisterLive is Speaking at the Women of Color Expo

#LiveSisterLive is speaking at the Women of Color Expo on May 8, 2010 in Philadelphia.  This is a phenomenal Expo that brings a blend of what you need for your spirit, for work, for life and for play.  You'll gain some work sense, biz sense and fashion sense.  The Women of Color Expo will be touring major cities throughout the USA and more...

Reasons to Attend:
If history is an indicator of success and an experience that is waiting for you, you'll be pleased. This Expo started just last year with a response of the first expo of 1000 women.  Where do you hear about this kind of reach for a first round and new Conference and Expo.

If you miss Philly, don't worry: other stops are planned for Baltimore, New Jersey,  New York, Houston, Charlotte, and more....

I'll be your noon session host and have a lot to say about Work,Sista,Work and How to make it Work for you. 

See You in Philly!

Live,Sister,Live

LiveSisterLive: Letting the Wrong Things Matter

Think about your day? Are you living for what really should matter?

How was your day Sister? Was everything you did worth it? Did it count toward adding something positive in your life or the life of someone else?  What did you miss out on today that should have mattered? A call to a friend, time with family or friends, a meetup, a good movie or book.

Problem with living life like it matters can sometimes be a matter of priorities. Sometimes the wrong things take up residence on our to-do list.  What should not be on or at the top can hold our life hostage.

I know a sister who is in grad school, and all her days have been consumed with getting the A's, so much so she is trying too hard to get something that other things in her life has gone to the way side.  She works, but has no time to do the things she used to do. No time for self can mean her self doesn't matter.

If she doesn't get an A, the worse that can happen is she'll get a B.  Either way she passes the course and her company gives her the reimbursement.  If the A is taking her  to places she needs to go than it might be worth the sacrifice.  But if it gets her what a B can, it might just serve her to study a little less, be less intense, and enjoy more of life and what matters.

This week, put your priorities under examination. Ask yourself if all your effort is worth it and does it matter? 

Have a week that matters to your life?

Live Sister Live Best Career Link of the Week for Youth

We promised to pass along links for living matters. Today's featured link is for career matters and job seekers in high school or reason graduates: 

The Disney CareerStart Program

What we like about it:

- Variety of programs

-  Location is a great one

-  Great curriculum

-  Rich Opportunity

-  Ease in applying

Are you interested?

http://disney.go.com/disneycareers/careerstart/dlr/apply.html

Keep sharing the links and we'll help you if we can to prepare for a career whether you are a high school student, college student, young adult, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years old....


LiveSisterLive
Living life Like It Matters

LiveSisterLive: 7 days to Feast Her

Proverbs 15:15 For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. (New Living Translation of the Bible)

Next week is Easter Sunday so I'm taking time today to look at ways that I can grow spiritually and feed my life in better ways. 

How am I living life like it matters?  To feast me, I'm doing a lot more to celebrate my life and the purpose for which my life exists.  I'm looking for the ways to enjoy the small things and the great things.

Yesterday I received a call from a close friend, from my home town, and as a result we call each other cousins.  Her call to ask me to join her in a feast (really meal) was so welcomed. I had let go of some of what should matter to my life, like getting out in the sunshine. I had already lost time to the morning consumed with some projects I was working and had lost sight of time, including the time to support a sister at the services for her husband.


We had a great time of feasting over conversation and a meal, catching each other up on life and what was happening in her life. I felt rejuvenated, because the meal and the conversation fed me with ideas and truly lifted me.

For the next 7 days to Easter I'm on a Feast Her plan too.

Today's feast was filled with a great sermon that helped me think about ways to continue to live out my purpose to help women live lives that matter.  I took time to pray for others and for a situation impacting relationships.  While God is what will matter first and most today, I'm going to get outside again, going to create a wonderful feast for Sunday dinner and enjoy what I have been given.

Whether with family or friends or just doing your own thing, join me in my Feast Her Plan and share a meal with family or friends this week, around a table to reflect on what it takes to live life like it matters. 

Happy Feast Her and a Blessed Easter to you!

State of Your Credit: What the Creditors Don’t Want Us to know & What You Need to Know to Reform Your Credit Card Spending

It can be difficult to think of an issue that touches more people, or can get a rise out of more people, than credit card fine print, fees, and staggering interest rate hikes. For some it is an irritation, for others who may have already hit a rough patch, it can become a brutal weight. – WhiteHouse.gov

What matters to your life? Take the weight off you and your credit by making the reform work for you.

The credit card reform goes into full effect next week; here are some of the numbers that will impact you:

1. 60 Months increase free: Credit card issuers cannot give your interest rates an increase for next 60 months.

2. 45 days notification of changes: Credit card changes in terms of conditions must come with advance notification of minimum of 45 days

3. 21 day statements: Statements must be mailed 21 days before payment is due, up from 14 days

4. 0 Fees: No fees because you decided to call to make a payment



To live your life and live it well, LiveSisterLive, wants you to live right by your credit cards. Here’re some add’ tips to reform your credit card use:

• Use them wisely and timely which means also pay your bills on time


• Use them for your life needs, not to get you in more debt

• Use them as long as it doesn’t wound your credit card reputation

• Use them understanding the impact of the new terms

• Use them to get rewards and points but pay them off quickly

• Use for emergencies but still make cash your queen and king


LiveSisterLive!



Watch, Engage, Discuss - Monday at 2:00: Credit Card Reform Kicks In The White House

LiveSisterLive and the State of Your Heart: Valentine's Day isn't Just for Lovers

"Valentine's Day makes me bitter. V-Day is one giant conspiracy ...And if you don't receive anything then you're a loser. Think of Charlie Brown staring mournfully into his empty mailbox, praying for one solitary pink envelope to validate his existence." -  Source: From the Bittersweet central website.


What matters? You have to think you're special every day, including holidays.

Are you having a Charlie Brown Valentine's Day?


Today isn't a happy day for many women. In fact, there are many websites dedicated to protest valentine's day. One of my girlfriend's was sharing that when she was young she wanted a gift or a card, anything to tell someone she was remembered, special and loved. There were years of disappointment for her.

Every woman has had a disappointment day in her life: Valentine's Day, A friend's wedding, etc.  My dissappointment day in my early twenty's was not Valentine's Day. New Year's Eve was my night of blues if I didn't have a date. Then I grew up and learned how to have fun on any day. I didn't have to always have a date to live my life and live it well.

The Charlie Brown Valentine's Day tv specials used to get me as I watched the heartbreak stories of Charlie Brown watching everyone get cards but him. At one point he asks Lucy "Can you cure loneliness? Can you cure deep-down, black, bottom-of-the-well, no-hope, end-of-the-world, what’s-the-use loneliness?"

Peppermint Patty wanted him but he didn't notice. Lucy chased Schroeder to give her a card. Sally chased after Linus who didn't pay attention. Snoopy always had a full mailbox of cards and the writer left us wondering who love's Charlie Brown?

Who loves me, many women may ask today.  My response? Love you and remember God loves you. If you want others to do something for you and they're not, do it for you.  Do it for yourself and enjoy it.
Find other ways to share the love that you would want on this day if it is not shared with someone else.

Treat someone else. It  is a day of love, so extend it to others. Some women think it's exclusive to couples. It's not. So many cards say Happy Valentine's day to others: mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sisters, cousins, kids and more.

Remember it's one day and you can define it the way you want it to be. Let's also teach our daughters to not grow up with the expectations that Valentine's Day is a day of validation. Learn from Snoopy who let love come naturally.


Love you and LiveSisterLive! May you be your own valentine today.

LiveSisterLive Living on Less but Giving More Love

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go. - Mother Teresa

What matters? Giving of ourselves and from our heart rather than just from our wallet.

• I am on this project to live life on less as I can continue to work  on my book, Live Sister Live!.  While I'm loading you up on what you need for your life matters I'm also writing on what you can do to live life on less. I've got a whole year of plans for living on less but right now it's in the financial area, for 21 days.

• I give Michelle Singletary the credit, so can't make the 21 financial fast mine, it came from a wise sister.  I love it and I'm trying to live it.

• My hubby and I share some things in common like you can't buy love. We're always each other's valentines but tomorrow we aren't going to use the day to spend money, buy cards, order flowers, pay for dinner, charge a card for a love gift.

• We are going to spend a day giving to our self.  He doesn't know this but I'm going to do something that he loves that I don't. 

• Do your life a favor, Love you tomorrow, not just because it's Valentine's Day. Love you because your life matters and you matter. Love you whether you are married, whether you are single, a parent, divorced, go through or getting over.  Love your child with an extra hug tomorrow. Love your sister with forgiveness. Love what you have not what someone else has in their hand.  Love your home no matter how small or empty.  Love your past but love today and your future.  Love God who loves you no matter what you do.

If you are living in a state  recession or  less, live in a state of love for you and others.

When it comes to living a life that matters, it comes down to words, time, money, and loving and giving to you and others. Enjoy these links for some time together, words, and a giveaway.

1. http://www.valentinesdaymovie.com/#/home
2. http://fordvehicles.emipowered.net/valentinesdaymovie/landing.html?
3. http://www1.americangreetings.com/ecards/display.pd?prodnum=3177548&N=108556

Live,Sister,Live! Live Life Like It Matters tm

Excerpt from the 2010 LiveSisterLive!: Supergoal Your Life tm

The Superbowl is the championship game of the National Football League (NFL) - Wikepedia

What matters? Learn from the Superbowl and make your life a championship. Celebrate the achievement of your goals with your  friends and family as if you are in a football league.


Excerpt from LiveSisterLive!:

I love having fun and attending a good party. I wanted to share a list of  ways to goal your life and create a Supergoal Your Life League tm

There are so many ways to get you on the road to reaching your life goals.  One way  is to not just set your goals on the first day of the year but use the Superbowl to create new goals. Join with a set of friends to challenge each other to compete to reach your goals by the next Superbowl.  Start at the beginning of football season or kick it off at Superbowl.

Women can do this; couples can do this; families can do this; college students can do this; men can do this:

Ready for some goalball?

Here's a quick list of things to do to get started:

1.Plan a Supergoal Your Life tm party and invite friends to join you. Make it fun and make it festive.
2. Send invitations that look like Superbowl tickets, and share information in a fun way about goals and importance of setting them.
3. Kickoff the party on Superbowl Sunday or any other day that  is covenient for you and your guests. If you want to incorporate a pep rally,  also plan an activity for your half-time entertainment or sing a motivating song.
4. Plan a menu with festive foods or have your guests each bring something in keeping with the idea of sharing goals. Afterall, it is one of the top food-consuming events in American life.
5. Invite a speaker to help facilitate as a coach. Decide the rules for winning. The host can dress like a cheerleader or team mascot.
6. At the party have everyone write down three goals; fold them up and put them in a jar that you as the host will keep and pass on to next year's host if you decide to rotate.
7. Have each individual come up with a name from one of the NFL teams,  as if they were a team in a football league. If you want to have teams of two or more, that's fine too.
8. Have each person share one goal, why it's important and their plan to reach their goal and any support needed
9. Ask someone to be the Supergoal Your Life tm communications contact to send encouragement reminders. Hold a monthly or bimonthly call to keep each person charged up.
10. At each party, ask your guests to show up wearing their  favorite football team jersey.
11. Give a Supergoal Your Life tm Championship prize to the person who finished first, overcame the most obstacles and gifts to everyone for trying and/or completing their goals. Women may want to create their own version of the championship ring to move from sister to sister.


Enjoy your Superbowl and Supergoal Your Life too!  Do it with friends, family and others.

Can't wait for your to read the ideas above and  other unique ideas to host life goal parties in the 2010 book, LiveSisterLive!  I want to share them all right now, but you have to wait. In the meantime, if you are married, think about doing what I do: party with your spouse to set yearlong goals. Don't take it personally if he decides that your party can't be held the day of the Superbowl. 

Live,Sister,Live and Live Life like it matters. Live like a champion!  May your life have many positive touchdowns! Have to go now, pre-game party is about to start!

© 2010 LiveSisterLive!

State of Your Life: Lessons from the Secret Life of the Bees

Your Time to Live - Queen Latifah in the Movie, The Secret Life of the Bees

What matters?  Making and taking time to live life and enjoy every moment you are given.

What a wonderful Saturday I had in the midst of 20 inches of so snow.  Last night I watched the quietness of the snow that embraced many of us in the northeast.  It may have held us in, but I didn't feel like a hostage.  I felt free. I felt beautiful, wonderful and happy.

God has taken a snow storm to remind me I should take more time to stop,  live and enjoy my life.

I watched The Secret Life of the Bees. Alicia Keyes plays one of three sisters who learns to take time for love.  Queen Latifah plays her sister who shares about not messing up the time we've been given to live life.  Dakota Fanning plays a child who has runaway from life, and in one part of the  movie she says to her father  "My whole life has been a hole where you left me aching."

Let's agree to take  time today to not mess up nor put holes in others lives.   Let's fill ours and others with beautiful things like sharing time together, enjoying quiet moments, and taking the ache and pain out of life's hurts.

State of Me: My Life on Less with Spend Temptations Everywhere

A penny saved is a penny earned - Benjamin Franklin

What matters?  My motto: Keep your eye on your money not those things you want and may not need.  Save every penny you can, and look at it like you've earned it.
 
Dear Sisters,
 
It's midweek of my first week and third day of living on less. I cannot tell a lie. I realize I spend money every day without even thinking. I'm not talking about big bucks either. Reasons to spend money grab me everywhere.  Seventy-five cents a day for chips. One dollar a day for water, and up to One dollar and fifty cents for gatorade.
 
Go to work; pass the vending machine, see some chips or see some chocolate. I have a reason to spend money.  Sisterfriend  stops by with a fabulous outfit, I ask one of a woman's favorite questions:  Girl, where'd you get that?  She tells me what she paid for it. I want it,  so she  being the sharing sister she is answers and tells me there's more from where her  outfit came.

I go for it. Thanks for sharing friends.  Another reason to spend money. Go home tired; open the fridge; it's empty; I don't feel like cooking, and tell myself to order a pizza.  I spend some money.  Turn on my tv and hit the remote; on comes QVC, HSN, great deals, good payment plan.  More tempting spend money moments. 
 
How about you, fighting  to live on less but your eyes see more? You  browse the net and have an OMG moment when you come across some fabulous , no phat shoes that grab you and want your wallet.  You don't check the price, but your mind can see you in those shoes and the dress to match.  You fall over at the price, but wonder if you had it would you spend it?
 
Ha!  Live on less you say? You have to fight the money temptations that come in all forms.  I wonder how many sisters would forfeit living on less for shoes as funky as these for the ticket price of $1595.00. 

Run with your  money sisters, but aren't they funky?
 
 

LiveSisterLive is living life like it never mattered more and on less!

Dear Sister,

I'm going to be living my life like it matters more than it ever has in my life for the next 11 months and invite you to take the journey with me. My life is  packed and looking forward to my new way to live.   

My first stop on my itinerary is to get my finances in order and using Michelle Singletary's  and Deborah Owens' books to navigate part of my way.  These two sisters have books that are  packed with information on how to manage your money matters.

Michelle's book is 21 Days to Prosper. I love this book and all the wisdom and advice it offers from a biblical and practical perspective.  God, I know you're listening, so please help this sister get through the spending  fast that Michelle outlines. Help me to be consistent and stay away unnecessary spending for the next 21 days.

By the way, my husband doesn't know what's ahead yet.  I surprise him tonight. I know my husband will be happy but you know he's going to look at me with skepticism. I know it will make a difference in both of our lives but truth be told he's the more frugal one.

Deborah's book, the Power of the Purse, goes hand in hand with  Michelle's as she advances me to the world of investments, retirement and other make money work for you advice. 

I confess that right now, I am looking about my home wondering what I need to order, buy or get right now before I have to put a freeze on my purse and wallet.

What matters? I can do this. I can use what I have. I think I can, I think I can...

State of You: More from the State of Union for the State of Your Life

Knowledge is still powerful (that is if you use it)!

Dear Sisters,

What  matters?  Getting all the information you can and more on what the government is doing that could impact your living. Don't just get it; use it.

Want more on what President Obama's State of the Union speech contains that if implemented could change or impact your life?

Here's a summary of other updates in the text of the US President's Speech. Given LiveSisterLive has a global audience, if you are outside the US, also pay attention to what's happening. We are in a global world where one country's  intiatives often are also occuring in other countries.


Equal Pay for You. The President talked about getting more serious about equal pay laws that impact women and the pay they receive for work.


Education & Resources for Your Finances: The President commented, we need to make sure consumers and middle-class families have the information they need to make financial decisions. Message for us is that we need to stay informed about what decisions are being made of will be made.

Help to Pay for Yours or Your Child’s Education: In college? Here’s what the President said that could impact the costs you pay: Instead, let's take that money and give families a $10,000 tax credit for four years of college and increase Pell Grants. And let's tell another one million students that when they graduate, they will be required to pay only 10 percent of their income on student loans, and all of their debt will be forgiven after 20 years -- and forgiven after 10 years if they choose a career in public service, because in the United States of America, no one should go broke because they chose to go to college

Tax Credits for You: Look at what the President say you may get: That's why we're nearly doubling the child care tax credit, and making it easier to save for retirement by giving access to every worker a retirement account and expanding the tax credit for those who start a nest egg. That's why we're working to lift the value of a family's single largest investment -- their home.

Refinancing Assistance for Your Home: The President stated this year, we will step up refinancing so that homeowners can move into more affordable mortgages. And it is precisely to relieve the burden on middle-class families that we still need health insurance reform.

Look at your home mortgage situation, if you own a home, so that you can determine if it’s time to rethink what you’re paying can change your payments

Programs to Improve Your Children’s health: Weight problems are not just an adult issue. The President announced that First Lady Michelle Obama will launch a national movement to tackle the epidemic of childhood obesity and make kids healthier.

Don’t ignore your children’s health problems, given it can affect so many areas of their life the quality of life they will live as they move into adulthood.

Improved Civil Rights for You: The President talked of expanded efforts to stop and penalize hate crimes and other related violations. He also talked about other civil rights protections.

Health Care for You: The President reemphasized the work underway to ensure heath care is available to all.

Remember, knowledge is only as powerful as you use it!

More on the State of Union and the State of You…

Excerpts from 2 of several emails our State of You series…

Thank you LiveSisterLive for creating such a catchy series on the STATE of You and the STATE of the Union. I never thought about relating the State of the Union to the state of me. I’m going to get my state together --- G.C. , looking for a new state of me in Virginia

 I’m hurting and truly need some reform or someone to do something. I watched the state of the union and the president for the first time in a new way. I kept asking myself, okay sis, watch what’s in it for you… T.F. Florida

Dear Sisters,

What matters? The more action you take the more you can change the state of you.

Thank you for the positive messages and an idea that really was driven from women  like each of you who are looking for change. If you know me, you know my emphasis on  focusing on the "state of you" not someone else's state. Do yourself a favor, don't compare where you are to where someone else is or isn't. We want to help you improve your own state and your own life matters.

Again, thanks for all of the positive feedback on kicking off  the State of the Union and State of You (and more on it through the year). It’s what we’re about at LiveSisterLive, helping you to live life like it matters no matter what state you feel you’re in.

Just yesterday: Another sister commented, I never would have thought to tie my life to the state of the union. I replied to her, everything in this life and world can affect the state of us…

For now, let's discuss three major things we heard that could be good for improving the STATE OF YOU from the STATE OF THE UNION:

1. Job Creation & continued Extension of Unemployment benefits: The President stated that “ One in 10 Americans still cannot find work.”

If you are out of work, ensure you are taking advantage of unemployment benefits. I’ll be doing a series on how to get the most out them and the things you may not know. If you do have a job, pay attention where job creation is occurring that could create a new opportunity for you if you are considering a move. Also, if you have a job pay attention to where the layoffs may occur and be aware of how it could impact you.

2. New Small Business Credit: If you have a small business and looking for relief the President also proposed taking 30 billion dollars of the money banks on Wall Street banks have repaid the government to help give small businesses credit. This is one we will continue to pay close attention to and share information on life matters for those in business.

3. Education Reform. Parents ensure your children are getting best education, including looking at science, engineering, math and technology. Our girls are especially behind in this area. Look at how well your country is excelling in what are called the STEM professions.

The President discussed Congress must take actions to help our schools but we have to find ways to help improve the education of our children. He specifically called out the need for colleges and universities to reduce costs and a focus on community colleges. If you want education for you or your children, community colleges are an institution to watch and consider having your children attend. More on this in future blogs.



More of what we heard for the State of You tomorrow, focused on financial recovery, children and obesity and more…

In my book, WorkSisterWork, I have a chapter focused on preparing for bad times while you’re having good times. Do your state a favor:  Let’s work together to prepare for what’s ahead and get all of us in a better place and state!

State of You: Why Do Women Stay

“Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power - a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment” – Marsha Sinetar


What matters? Sometimes instead of staying we need to learn how to start over.

I am happy that  John Edwards' wife found her state of resillience and is not remaining in a situation that does not allow her to heal. The media has portrayed  her life descending, pinned down by the hurt of infidelity.  This week something new is happening and she no longer stays where her disappointment lives. She appears to have found her freedom plan and to be putting her life back in order.  It takes a lot of courage to walk away from any situation when you really want to stay.

Throughout my life, I've wondered why we do it, why we stay. Some women stay stuck in a relationship that holds their heart hostage. Some women stay planted in jobs that don’t allow us to flourish. Some convince ourselves that we need the money more than we need to go somewhere. Even in friendship and other harmful relationship ties we can refuse to break free of people.

My mother also says many women stay lacking courage, options or alternatives. Fear of the unknown, she says, may keep a woman enclosed in the situations that bind her. Lack of resources also can keep a woman's  life in captivity. And when emotions have us feeling unraveled, we don’t build escape plans for our life or find a new route to our joy and our happiness. A few of us, too, are going through life with the pain of the past and other secrets that also seem to stay and not let go of us.  No one sees that you want to get away in spite of the reasons you stay.


 What's the state of you? What are you staying in and should you come out? Are you a women who stays when you can't find your way? It's time to give the state of you a new day and to start life a new way.

The State of You

Women and girls make up one half of the human resources available to the world and it will be imperative that they are educated, empowered and integrated for a rapid economic recovery" -- Saadia Zahidi,

I'm watching US President Obama who will give the annual state of the union address, covering the condition of our nation. The state of the union is a time for a country's leader to discuss the nation's agenda, building a case for change, priorities and other ways to address the country's major problems.

What matters?  The state of your life and the impact of the economy on it.

Don't listen for the politics. Have your ears  open wide to hear how the state of the world is affecting a woman's world. The state of the  economy has not bypassed us and for some it's consumed the security of our life. Time to get more economic education and fuel your empowerment plan.  Our living has a lot at stake these days. The economy has not been kind to many of us, and we are feeling deficits in jobs, money, our investment and more.


 I don't know what you're going to do, but  here's what I am doing right now while I watch  President Obama  give his address. I'm going to use the time to figure out  my own plan for addressing the state of my  life matters. I need to define my own stimulus plan and definitely need to reset  my  priorities.
 
If you were watching your tv tonight, remember that what you watched is about your life too. Consider the state of you, the state of your mind, the state of your circumstances and life and get out of the spectator seats.  Your life, no matter what the government does, can only be changed best by you.

Stay informed about your life matters. Read all the transcripts, watch the state of union again (not for politics sake, but for the sake of your life).


Tomorrow: the State of You: What's Your Response, Sister?


.

Oprah May Have Gayle, but I Have My Sisters & Sisterfriends

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. -- Barbara Alpert

What matters? Every woman deserves someone in her life who will accept her as she is and see what she  can become.

Oprah may have Gayle, but I have my sisters and sisterfriends.

Who wants to go through life without that good heart to heart,  woman to woman, deep down soul searching conversation? Remember Whoopie Goldberg and Angela Bassett's friendship in Stella Got Her Groove? Who doesn't want a good sisterfriend who will walk alongside you sharing the most important moments of your lifetime?  Remember the Joyluck Club,  Dream Girls, Waiting to Exhale, My Sister's Keeper and shall I continue and name every movie that centered on sisters or women  and our friendships?

We all need the sister in our life who can reach emotional levels at the same height as ours, go toe to toe with us , even stop speaking to us and  then love us again like nothing ever happened. We all need a sister who will  sit in the audience of our life cheering us  on no matter what's going on. Yes, we need someone whose sleeve  or dress will be our kleenex when there are no tissues to be found or a day when we feel like we can no longer hold on.

My sisters and  sisterfriends see all my possibilities and what I can't see in me. They also discover what I have not yet discovered in me. On what I call  my bad days, they don't see ugly when my hair's uncombed, there's a run in my hose, or I'm dressed down. They laugh with me, pray with me, cry with me and pull for me. They accept our diversity and allow for our differences.

If you don't have one, get one or forgive one.  A good sister and/or sisterfriend will do your life good and even balance you out.  Mine are  the  soundboard of my life, at times hitting me up with the truth, even when  I don't want it.   They are great turn signals, too, directing me to turn left when right is not the best way to steer what's driving me.

A Fairytale Life Isn't All About the Happy Ending

As a child, I loved children's stories that ended with and they all lived happily after.

What matters? Life isn't always happy but it doesn't mean you can't find happiness in life.

Grab a copy of a fairytale.    Cinderella didn't lead a life of total joy.  That sister had the stress of family relations on the road to meeting her prince. Snow White might have been running from her problems but she still found a way to have good times.  Sleeping beauty dealt with the stress of someone's jealousy but kept her eye on her goal.  Rapunzel had all that hair but grew up with the stress of living in bondage and at the mercy of another. She didn't cave in to sadness or give up on life. She turned her limited resources into a tool to move her out of her situation. Alice in Wonderland fell down a hole but didn't stay stuck there. She had to figure out her direction but too found a new way to live. In the Princess and the Frog, Tiana dreams of life beyond her circumstances and finds a better life.

Forget about the happy endings and rushing to what you think are life's happy destinations.  You'll get to that dream you desire but you may have to go through something to get there. 

Studies say not all stress is bad, but if any  comes your way in life, learn from the Fairytales.  Use your resources,  dream about what you want, enjoy the life you're in, and keep your eye on your goal.

Then, Sister, may you live happily ever after.

Take Up Your Position

Oh what a fabulously beautiful, wonderful, great morning I had this morning. My spirit was on a high today, as I got up taking charge of my day telling myself it is going to be a good, no GREAT week for a GREAT LIFE!!!! No blues were allowed to rise with me. The only blue I allowed was in the blueberries in the pancakes I made my husband and me for breakfast.

What matters? Positioning you for a GREAT LIFE

Everybody has something that gives their spirit a lift and to get them going. Yours may be a cup of joe or the wii, but for me, I first kick off my day with God , devotions and conversation about life matters.

This morning I focused on 2 Chronicles 20, for not just me but sisters who I know are struggling with what to do when we're in a battle or feeling hopeless.  We all get hit with one every now and then. Some of you might be talking back  to this blog saying, LiveSisterLive, my life is a struggle every day or I am in a battle right now or in this moment. Read on sister, I have something for you too.

What I loved about today's Word  is a verse from 2 Chronicles 20:17: Take up your position, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. I found myself thinking, "ready, aim and in position."

Whatever you believe, you also have to decide what you’re for,  be in position and ready for anything you want to happen in your life. You also have to be unmoveable, see what you want, aim  for it and go for it.

7 ways I  Spiritually Position Me to Get A Handle On a Struggle with A Life Matter:

- I stand before God and keep my eyes on Him

- I trust that no matter what I’m going through God will fight my battle if I let Him

- I try to stay encouraged no matter how large the problem seems

- I remind myself that what matters most is that God has all the power, will grant me success and give me what others may try to withhold from me

- I praise God for what He has already done and how he has kept me

- I thank God for what He is doing that I can’t even see

- I know that what concern me matters to God!

Other practical  actions I put in place to overcome a struggle in me or outside of me:

- I talk to a friend and rely on my support systems
- I walk, and I need to keep exercising
- I practice deep breathing
- I go get a massage on occasion
- I consider and analyze the situation to figure out the  best route to a solution
- I explore all my options and other resources


I am Aiming for my goals and  in Position and Ready for all the Great Things coming my way…Are you in position for you and to take on every one of your life matters?

Strengthening Our YOUNG Sisters

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. - Titus 2:3

What matters?  Teaching and reaching out to our younger sisters.

I'm very blessed. I have one biological niece and the blessing of  friends whose daughters are truly my nieces too. Recently,  I thought about all my nieces and started developing letters of encouragement to begin sending to them throughout 2010. I want to teach my nieces how to live a good life.

Each is different and all have very unique, wonderful qualities that can give them their best life.  There is so much that we as women can do to help our younger sisters and to build them up. When my youngest sister was getting married I spent time with her teaching her how to cook; she now is one fabulous cooking sister. She already had natural abilities that I knew would make her an iron chef.

Some of our sisters who are a part of the LiveSisterLive community are in college and need our strength and positive teaching. We can give them something good by sending a letter to cheer them on at final's time or during a time when school just isn't what they think it should be. They may also need a care package or a card that says someone is thinking of you. Some of our young sisters are in high school, like my God daughter, who may need a call from time to time or a way to let them know they matter too.  A first time young mother could also use our support if we have mothered children. A working young sister may need a listening ear or courage to pursue a career or business of her own. Sometimes our youngest sisters just need us to be there.

LiveSisterLive is all about helping women of every age live a life that matters and getting our life matters in order not just for ourself but each other.  What could matter most today is a young sister who needs someone to walk alongside her in life.

This coming week, do something that shows a  young sister she's worth it and she matters (because she does ).

What Are You Going to Do About It?

How many times in your life have you complained or shared that something in your life is not right or you wish it would change. Over dinner and for hours with a friend, she complained, "I'm so tired of this situation. I don't know how  much more I can take." The friend listened and then responded, "So, What are you going to do about it?"

What matters?  Stop the talking and do something about the things that are not right in our life.

Like a lot of women, I can have a lot to say to others when something's not right in my life.  I've had my share of don't know what to do or I can't do this anymore  attitudes. I have also slept my way through my troubles rather than move me out of them.

Sisters, it's okay to talk about that problem but remember most problems in  life won't change until you decide what you will do about them.

Right now, let's put some doing into action. Get a sheet of paper and find a pen.  Write down one thing that has your life in a hold pattern or that has become an emotional drama. Create your "what I'm going to do about it list." If it's about a person in your life, your doing may be about stepping away, walking away or staying  away for right now. If it's about the job, your "what I'm going to do list" may be to get a mentor, talk to HR, or look for a new job.

Whatever you are facing right now in your life,  don't stand still. Doing nothing is not an option for a situation that has you stuck in neutral.  Even a doctor will tell you a sedentary lifestyle works against you.

Get Doing, Sister, Get Doing!

What Lies Within Us

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What matters? Not necessarily the size of your body but what lies within you.

The news was popping yesterday and today with a story about how a woman's chances of getting diabetes type 2 are reduced if her derriere (backside) is big. It got my attention and I gave mine a second look laughing with my husband and telling him, wow, I've found its special purpose.

As a sister on LiveSisterLive talked about the story's  "behind the scenes"  benefits and others doubted how much substance there is to the story I had more questions.  One was what's the deeper story behind diabetes and the size of one's rear?

Here are some behind the scenes facts.  More research has to be done, since the ones that were big were the rears of the mice in the study. The researchers explained fat, for instance, may be good in the rear or thighs but not in your tummy.

Want more truths to this matter? Pay attention to the real "but" in the story.  Your rear can be pretty big BUT if your  tummy hangs over your waistline your risk of diabetes just went up again. Your thighs may be broad and your hips wide, BUT if you don't do something about what's getting inside and lying in you, the sizes of your rear, your thighs or hips won't matter.

Let's prevent diabetes by rethinking the size of our plates and what's feeding our health. Fast foods, fried foods, too many sweet foods living within us may hurt our blood levels, clog our arteries, feed cancer cells and even build fat that will cause the cartilage in our bones to be worn out and worn down.  Your mental health also plays a role so think about what may be eating your life.

Remember, there's a lot more to getting healthy then the fullness of what's behind you.

Become A Woman of Awareness

Dictionary.com defines awareness 2 ways:

1. having knowledge; conscious; cognizant: aware of danger.
2. informed; alert; knowledgeable..
 
What matters? Being knowledgable and being self-aware
 
Awareness doesn't just do a women's body good but other areas of her life. A woman of awareness recognizes the job is changing but doesn't wait for someone else to push her career forward. A woman of awareness deals with the recession and learns to live on less and change her spending habits. A woman of awareness knows her children yet shapes them based on their individual differences. A woman of awareness identifies her weaknesses and does something about them. A woman of awareness can also admit her own mistakes and the opportunity to learn from her past.  A woman of awareness understands the power of her tongue and the influence of her words. 

Women who stay aware are in touch with their bodies, are conscious of its changes. Being aware catches problems before they catch up to you. I had thyroid disease but wasn't aware of what a goiter was doing to my windpipe.  I kept watching it grow until til it began to move my windpipe to the side. I had an initial delay, but then did my homework, gained knowledge of thyroid disease, took steps to address what could have become a life threatening condition.

Awareness doesn't come without knowledge or the wisdom of others. It also doesn't come if you choose to close your eyes to the truth that is in front of you.
 
Are you aware of what's happening in your life? Do yourself a favor today, take extra steps today to become a woman of awareness. Gain knowledge. Be conscious of your life. Stay congnizant of anything that threatens you, your balance, your health, your spirit or your peace of mind.

Insecurity Tells Lies

What matters? How you feel about yourself.

She’s asked how she feels and responds “I feel very plastic.”

I’m sitting in front of the tv watching reality star Heidi Montag explaining why she underwent 10 rounds of plastic surgery in one day and how she feels after another round of surgery.

Feeling plastic is an understatement. I wonder how far a woman should go to change herself.  I look at the tv again and admit she’s attractive, but I still wonder why she did it and for who. I also don’t believe her list of reasons that she's serving the interviewer. She must know she is cutting out and stretching the truth as much as her skin has been stretched and cut in multiple parts of her body.

Heidi and over 12 million people, mostly women, underwent plastic surgery in 2008.  The fastest growing segment of women making their appointments at the plastic surgeon’s table are Asian women followed by African American women.

I study the host of the show, along with the eyes of the cameras. He and the cameras appear to be finding it difficult to not roam to places where the surgeon injected some body extras. I'm still wondering why and how far a woman should go to change herself.

Insecurity will lie to a woman and make it look like its helping us. It will  tell us we are not enough, what we have is not enough, and who’s in our life is not enough. It’s effects will have us chasing the wrong career, the wrong dreams, the wrong man, the wrong job, the wrong look and even the wrong kind of money. 

I've made my share of artificial additions in my lifetime: added nails, added hair, added height with high heeled shoes,  added stuff and too much stuff , added color to hide my feelings, added  a "sure I'm okay" additude when I was crying inside and more. At least one time in my life I've added age to get me in doors, but now I'm adding good for my life experiences.  Sometimes I changed because honestly it just felt good, but more often insecurity had lied to me too and was my only catalyst for change.

Security and Secure in God found it's way back to me a long time ago.  I intend to keep it around and hope it finds its rightful place in not only Heidi Montag's life but every sister's life.


http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/2010/01/19/20100119montag.html

Believe You Can Fly

There are miracles in life I must achieve But first I know it starts inside of me (from R Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly")

What Matters?  Faith and what you believe.

A woman may cry, "stop it, why are you doing this to me?" except when it comes to what she's doing or believing about her own self. Some of us have the worse self-confidence and do nothing about it.  Yet, it can be as simple as doing some mind gardening and  planting the right thoughts in our head and pulling the wrong ones out.

Life's a head and faith game. Anything we're  going to achieve has to start inside, beginning with the way we think. It's not on others to get us to believe what we can achieve, it's up to us. We've got to get up for us when no one else will. We have to tell our self we look good, even when we don't hear it from someone else.  We've got to talk our own self off the ledge when someone has placed us there. We've got to edit the scripts in our mind that  are making our life seem like we're in someone else's movie.


We owe it to our self to inspire the change we desire, turn up the flame of our faith, and tune into all that is possible. Take this week to make yours a beautiful mind. Stand in the front of your negative attitude and dare it to come near you again.  Believe in you and know that you are deserving of applause. Stand up right now and give your life a standing ovation.

God has given you more than you need to fly. If you feel you can't,  the reason is probably living inside your head.

How Does A Woman Become A Butterfly? (mini excerpt from the 2010 to be released book LiveSisterLive!)

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively."You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." ---Trina Paulus

What matters? Thinking about how women can change and how we must want to change for change to occur. When we started LiveSisterLive (living life like it matters), our first logo showed a woman with a butterfly, not chasing it or showing it getting away.

It showed her hand open and the butterfly upon her as if bringing her forward to her dreams.  While it has transformed from logo to our LiveSisterLive symbol it serves as a reminder that a woman can transform her life if she is willing to take the time, give up something, grab something better, and change the way she is living.
 
I've always loved Trina Paulus' butterfly quotation and how women can apply it to our life matters. If  we want to keep our financial life alive we must be willing to give up something to bring our financial matters in order.  If we want to keep our relationship life alive, we too must be willing to give up anything that is in its way.  This applies to our spiritual, personal, health, wellness, social, parenting, career and any other life matters that encompass a woman's life.
 
Sometimes what can elevate our situation and enable us to fly is our will and commitment to give up what can't transform our life in the same way a caterpillar does to become a butterfly.
 
So how Does a Woman Become A Butterfly?
 
We must first become like caterpillars.  Eat to grow and not just food. Nourish your life matters with the abundance of resources that are available to us from here, to where we live, to who we know. Shed too, Sister, like the caterpillar.  Let go of what's keeping down the areas of your life. Remove anything in your life's way.
 
 
Throughout the stages of life,  the caterpillar takes time to live in a cocoon, a place to be still and undergo positive change in its process of transformation and becoming a butterfly. When its new wings and beautiful life first emerge, it's vulnerable and  not yet ready to fly.  Its wings must be strong and then take shape before flying.
 
Change can make us vulnerable but doesn't have to make us weak. Take time for you and transform your own life matters. You, too, my sister are like a butterfly.  You are stronger than you think and can transform your life matters, fly high and live a great, big, beautiful life!

How do you begin your  life matters journey? to be continued in LiveSisterLive! Living Life Like It Matters (2010 publishing year)

7 Ways to Hopeful Living

What matters? As women, it's often an issue of the heart. Situations like the ones that are playing out in Haiti stress our emotions and can even leave us feeling broken or broken hearted.  When we break, we disband hope and shake up our belief system and its sound system becomes negative noise. 

Some of us will turn on hope when it appears to vanish from us.  Feelings of helplessness also cause hope's prominence in our life and promise of something more than what we see to dim its light during times like these. 

What should we do to strengthen our hope?

1. Believe that in spite of all that is happening hope still exists
2. Ignore the voice of discouragement
3. Hold on to faith even when it gets faint
4. Never give up on what you cannot reach the first time
5. Know there is value in waiting
6. Consider in possibility always lives what is possible
7. Trust in something greater than you, God

Fishing for Hope in Haiti

What matters? I can't sleep.

CNN has become my night light. Lately I am a net, catching words and stories from the news of Haiti. I am drawn to fishing for people stories that can reel in lessons of holding on to faith and the importance of not throwing faith away.

Today, my writing rod fills my blog with what the  media calls hopeful stories.  I gather the ones that tell of individuals who found someone they thought was gone. I watch with joy as one of the tiniest survivors cries out below the brick and underneath the mortar, telling her rescuers life is not over for all, reminding me of a  mother having just given birth.

Joy also fills my net when a friend or a stranger on Facebook posts contact has been  made with friend or family in Haiti. I am kept awake by every joyful story.

I cannot sleep, but I am not alone. I have many fishing rods by my side: my remote, the internet, and many different channels. They take me to places that have awakened the importance of not taking life for granted.

I am fishing for hope underneath the waters of sorrow and grief. I am hooked on survivors but I don't cast away the life that was lost. Life lost deserves its memories and is my teacher too.

I am fishing for reminders that no matter what life takes you through, as women, we must remind our self that life can still go on.

Living with All I've Got, All I Have

What matters? As I watch the news stories about Haiti, the scenes and pictures grab my emotions. Yes, I'm an emotional woman.

They invite with compassion tears down my face.  My ears sit up, though, and my heart beats attentive to what I hear.

Words like: fear, grief, heartbreak, down, dead, destroyed, rubble, gather inside my mind. I wonder what I can do that will matter to those who now live with what is no longer. On CNN, they show brief interviews of people sharing, showing and stating, "Look, this is all I've got."    Those words stay housed in my head, but not lightly.

I hear one anchor telling other stories of all they have to remember.  All is not an abundance of things, but perhaps a single picture or some small token of those who are now gone.

I watch hope in the face of a little girl who does not know the freedom we know because she is pinned underneath the rubble and many are trying to free her.  All she has are two free hands and half her body above the boulders that hold her legs down. I imagine how her mother must feel. I pray she will live and that no matter what she has God.

Tomorrow, if not today, think about Haiti. Think about all you've got, all you have when you think you don't have enough. Think about the little girl pinned down but through her tears holding on to hope.