April 18, 2010

Live Sister Live Living with tm...: Infidelity: Her Story, His and the Other Woman have their Say

"I watched a commercial about sheltered dogs. It said don't pity a sheltered dog. I don't think the Elin Woods, Saundra Bullock's or other women like me should be pitied, but we need a safe shelter to talk about our pain and work through the process."


This week, the LiveSisterLive team focuses our Sunday "Living with tm... segment on a story of a sister, her mate, and the other woman. They share their story at their request to help others but also we thank them and will protect their true identity.

The headlines are filled up with the celebrity side of marital cheating. Today, we want to tell one sister's story of how she dealt with the brokenness of infidelity and to hear from a sister who was the other woman. We hear from not only the other woman but the man who betrayed her.

Sister betrayed: When I found out my mate was with another woman, I had a meltdown and let him know how much I hated all he was and all he did to me. Not because I hadn't had a clue; in my gut I knew, but in my heart I tried to rationalize and argue with my brain. I didn't want anyone to know, so my marriage had public and private life. He also told me I was crazy. By the time I did share with someone, I was almost bitter beyond repair. I called her and texted her to stay away from my man.



Sister with a promise of he’s leaving: I thought I was the victor and had the sense of this poor guy and he's my soul mate. Nothing in my mind made me feel I too was the one who was losing. I didn’t recognize there are three sides to the story. I thought I was the prize, had captured the man and he was coming to me. When truth came out, I too was betrayed. I had been told only one side of the story. I had had my own issues too. I was mad when she called me and mad with him when she called me. In the end I had done wrong to me and to her.


The brother in the middle of a mess he feels he created: I had lied, but I was confused. I didn’t feel like a man I felt better with her (the other woman) than with my wife. When I wanted to do my thing, I picked an argument. I started looking at her when my wife and me stopped communicating and things seemed to be falling a part in other parts of my life. It started with a conversation. I got something that I wasn’t getting at home.  It was messed up and once in I lied to myself to stay in.


How the betrayed lived with infidelity and got her healing

As I said, I was the queen of bitterness and angry. I told everyone he was no good and tried to explain all that he had done for me. No one seemed to care; they noticed more of my emotional rage than my hurting hurt. I called her and told her to leave my man alone. Neither one of us confronted him. I brought my own life to a halt and didn't see all I was doing to me. I had a friend come to me to get some help and it was the best thing I could do for my life and well being.



10 Ways to Live Life like it Matters In the Midst of Betrayal from the LiveSisterLive Self-Care Coach
1. Don't shoot, don't kill, don't run him over with your car, feel inadequate or less than a woman. Also, don't hang the situation on you.

2. Express your anger, but in a constructive way and not hurtful to you.

3. Recognize if you had a role in the person being unfaithful. However, it’s also important to remember that you can't control anyone's behavior.

4. Protect your sanity and “guard your emotions”

5. Reminder yourself you are not responsible for the facts regardless of what you have been told

6. Talk to someone objective and non-judgmental (e.g. therapist or wise friend) and who you will not be afraid to give the facts too

7. Write down what you need to do to recover the relationship or move out of the relationship

8. Grieve the loss regardless of whether or not you stay or go

9. Take care of you by doing some new things in your life

10. Forgive yourself, forgive him and forgive her and move your life forward

 
 If you are living with infidelity, reach out to LiveSisterLive so a self-care coach can help you...

April 11, 2010

LiveSisterLive Living With..tm Segment : An MS Diagnosis is Not Keeping Her Down


In September 2009, after almost a year of, pokes, prods, evaluations, and tests, I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (MS) – an unpredictable autoimmune disease that attacks the nerve-insulating myelin in your central nervous system (brain, spine, and optic nerve). No one ever wants to hear such devastating news, but I feel uniquely blessed because my diagnosis came at an early stage of my disease and at a time when many treatment options are available.

How's She Living with this Matter?

My doctors are confident that with medication, exercise, proper nutrition, and taking care of myself I will continue to have a wonderful and quality-filled life.

Thanks to the pioneering efforts of people before me that have battled MS daily for years, scientific teams around the globe working on treatments and cures, and the Multiple Sclerosis Society, I have a fighting chance. Help me give back to those that are making a successful battle against MS a reality – support me and the Pam’s Peeps Team on April 11 in Arnold, Maryland as we participate in Walk MS 2010. There are four ways you can support us:




A. Come out to Arnold and walk the 5K with us on April 11

B. Participate as a virtual walker

C. Make a financial donation and help us reach and exceed our $500 team fundraising goal

D. Continue to pray for everyone with MS

E. ANY COMBINATION OF THE ABOVE



To learn more on how you can support our team, please visit:

https://secure3.convio.net/nmss/site/TRR/Walk/MDMWalkEvents/1366927849?pg=ptype&fr_id=13105



Many thanks for your continued support and prayers.

Living Life Like It Matters: Bearing One Another's Burdens

Galatians 6:2  Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.(NIV)


I love Sunday's, a good sermon and learning about how God wants us to live and about purpose. The message I heard today was all about how we can be used to help others:

Today I learned a friend has MS. I already have two others who also are walking through this. I know from the symptoms, at times it can  be life limiting. I thought about how many times we learn about something that someone has and we say I'm sorry. We may not take the time to find what the situation means to the sister going through.

How Can I Live Life  Like It Matters? I'm doing a lot of digging about the life the others live with MS. With that information I'm going to ask my friends what I can do. I'm going to let them know they don't have to lve through it alone. All three friends are full of joy, but life can be limiting. And where they have limits I can look for ways to step in.

Show up today for someone with MS. Don't be sorry, but be there.  Take a walk for her. You can search for a link below.


Let's Move for the Sister who may not be able to move like we can.

LiveSisterLive and bear someone's burden today!

April 7, 2010

LiveSisterLive is Speaking at the Women of Color Expo

#LiveSisterLive is speaking at the Women of Color Expo on May 8, 2010 in Philadelphia.  This is a phenomenal Expo that brings a blend of what you need for your spirit, for work, for life and for play.  You'll gain some work sense, biz sense and fashion sense.  The Women of Color Expo will be touring major cities throughout the USA and more...

Reasons to Attend:
If history is an indicator of success and an experience that is waiting for you, you'll be pleased. This Expo started just last year with a response of the first expo of 1000 women.  Where do you hear about this kind of reach for a first round and new Conference and Expo.

If you miss Philly, don't worry: other stops are planned for Baltimore, New Jersey,  New York, Houston, Charlotte, and more....

I'll be your noon session host and have a lot to say about Work,Sista,Work and How to make it Work for you. 

See You in Philly!

Live,Sister,Live

April 4, 2010

LiveSisterLive: Letting the Wrong Things Matter

Think about your day? Are you living for what really should matter?

How was your day Sister? Was everything you did worth it? Did it count toward adding something positive in your life or the life of someone else?  What did you miss out on today that should have mattered? A call to a friend, time with family or friends, a meetup, a good movie or book.

Problem with living life like it matters can sometimes be a matter of priorities. Sometimes the wrong things take up residence on our to-do list.  What should not be on or at the top can hold our life hostage.

I know a sister who is in grad school, and all her days have been consumed with getting the A's, so much so she is trying too hard to get something that other things in her life has gone to the way side.  She works, but has no time to do the things she used to do. No time for self can mean her self doesn't matter.

If she doesn't get an A, the worse that can happen is she'll get a B.  Either way she passes the course and her company gives her the reimbursement.  If the A is taking her  to places she needs to go than it might be worth the sacrifice.  But if it gets her what a B can, it might just serve her to study a little less, be less intense, and enjoy more of life and what matters.

This week, put your priorities under examination. Ask yourself if all your effort is worth it and does it matter? 

Have a week that matters to your life?

April 3, 2010

Live Sister Live Best Career Link of the Week for Youth

We promised to pass along links for living matters. Today's featured link is for career matters and job seekers in high school or reason graduates: 

The Disney CareerStart Program

What we like about it:
- Variety of programs
-  Location is a great one
-  Great curriculum
-  Rich Opportunity
-  Ease in applying

Are you interested?




Keep sharing the links and we'll help you if we can to prepare for a career whether you are a high school student, college student, young adult, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years old....


LiveSisterLive
Living life Like It Matters